I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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