well most of my day revolves around power hour
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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