Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
