I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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