You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
