It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
