just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
This is my gift to your gina
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
