I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
