i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
