I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
