Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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