So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
