Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
