Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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