i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
