what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
