Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
