Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
