Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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