we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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