In the future we'll all be gay
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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