she smelled like a LAN party
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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