I didn't shave. On purpose
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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