I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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