you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
