found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It's never too late to be topless.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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