spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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