if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
