Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
