nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
