therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
