Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
