doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
