I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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