this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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