You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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