xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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