I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
