I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
