Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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