I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
