At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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