i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
