Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
