On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
