Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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