You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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