dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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