I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
