Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
