No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
